Senior Awards Night.. Goddammit 

So tired from the pool, and so tired of myself.

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I almost broke down but I couldn’t/didn’t want to because we were in the car back home from SD. It made it worse that I left my stat’s homework at my cousin’s house but luckily he scanned it and sent it to me. I took a nap and it was a really heavy nap. When I woke up my eyes could barely open and I don’t feel the pain I felt before. I don’t even remember why I was mad. Something along the lines of: why am I so stupid? Why didn’t I think this through and have to be stuck with this attitude? School is shit

my burfday~

I didn’t get as many wall posts as last year. I got home to 8 of them then this morning only 4. As much as people think they’re annoying it’s still nice to know people said happy birthday. 

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I took a 45 minute nap and it felt great; then I took a shower. It’s back again though. In 2nd period I got so sleepy. I took a “nap” and I heard Chris and Alejandro ask McPhail if she could turn off the lights and everyone leave the classroom. In 6th I actually knocked out and felt myself jerk because I tripped in my dream. 

There was card-playing in 2,4, and 6 period today. 2nd because Carlos is Carlos. 4th and 6th because Kai showed everyone this new game. They even played at Lunch. It pissed me off. It was so annoying. This is why I’m not much of a big group person. Maybe it was because I’m tired, that’s why they were so irritable to me. I don’t know.

I need to break this habit. I need to stop thinking so much. 

Let’s sing all this away haha yay

A lot of me is just stupid. The problems I face are internal and created by me. They’re stupid conflicts that hurt me but in reality, just selfish. I treat you the way I wanted to be treated. But I contradict that. I wanted love, I wanted attention, I wanted things to go my way. Yet I’m too weak to say it aloud. I’m jealous, I’m not jealous. I know right, I’m wrong.

Go die in a ditch. 

I really just do not- I’m tired of people right now. I really do not want to go to school tomorrow. I want the weekend to come already.